|
[In front of Cartman's house.
Jimbo, Ned, and the boys are waiting for Cartman] |
| Mrs. Cartman: |
Be careful, Eric. The woods can be very dangerous. |
| Cartman: |
Okay, Mom. |
| Kyle: |
Ready to go hunting, Cartman? |
| Stan: |
Yeah, my Uncle Jimbo says we gotta get up there early.
Right Uncle Jimbo? |
| Jimbo: |
That's right, Stanley. Animals are much easier to shoot
in the morning. |
| Mrs. Cartman: |
Here hon, I packed you some cheesy poofs and happy
tarts. |
| Jimbo: |
Don't worry Mrs. Cartman, we'll take good care of him.
I brought my old war buddy Ned to keep things safe. |
| Ned: |
Hello, Mrs. Cartman. How are you today? |
| Mrs. Cartman: |
Be sure to use lots of bug spray, and if you have to
poo-poo, don't wipe with poison ivy. [The other boys laugh] |
| Cartman: |
Dude, that's sick mom. |
| Mrs. Cartman: |
And I know it can get scary up in those woods, but just
remember, mommy's not far away. [They laugh some more] |
| Cartman: |
Drive, Drive! |
| Mrs. Cartman: |
You give your mommy a kissy. |
| Cartman: |
Drive the car damn-it, drive! |
|
[In the Humvee] |
| Kyle: |
[in a slight falsetto] Don't get scared up in the
mountains Cartman. |
| Cartman: |
Shut up, I'm not scared of nothing. |
| Stan: |
Maybe your mom can give me a kiss too, Cartman. |
| Kenny: |
(Maybe she'll suck my dick) |
| Jimbo: |
Oh, ho, that's disgusting. |
| Cartman: |
You piece of crap, I'll kill you! [starts fighting with
Kenny] |
| Jimbo: |
That's the spirit boys, let's get that testosterone
flowin'. |
| Cartman: |
Eeeh! [about to strike Kenny again] |
| Jimbo: |
Now boys, boys, ah-I need to get
serious for a minute. I want you to understand a few basic rules of
hunting, since this is your first time. First, don't ever walk
with your gun unless the safety's on. Second, don't shoot anything that
looks human, and third, never spill your beer in the bullet chamber. |
| Stan: |
Uh, Uncle Jimbo, we don't drink beer. |
| Jimbo: |
You what?!? |
| Ned: |
Moh Yeah, that's right, I don't think eight year old
kids drink beer, mmm. |
| Kyle: |
I like chocolate milk. |
| Jimbo: |
Well, we'll be doing plenty of
drinking on this trip; After all, hunting sober is like …
fishing …
sober. It sure will be nice to get out of the city for a while, away
from civilization. |
|
[On the mountain] |
| Jimbo: |
Well, here we are. Okay, each of you young 'uns take a
gun, a beer and some smokes. |
| Cartman: |
Hey, I didn't get a gun. [Jimbo hands him one] Sweet.
This is like the gun I used in 'Nam |
| Stan: |
You weren't in Vietnam, Cartman. |
| Ned: |
Were you stationed in De Nang? |
| Stan: |
Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned. You can't believe
anything he says. |
| Cartman: |
Hey, I'll blow your friggin' head off. |
| Jimbo: |
[rushing up] Hey, look out son, that's dangerous.
You're gonna spill your beer. |
| Stan: |
My Uncle Jimbo says that after this, he's gonna take me
hunting in Africa.
|
| Kyle: |
Wow, that'd be cool.
|
| Cartman: |
My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.
|
| Jimbo: |
Boys, looky there. That there's a Rocky Moutain black
bear …one of the few remaining of its kind. Isn't it
beautiful… By God, it's coming right for us! [Shoots it. It
is hit and flips off the mound it was on.]
|
| Stan: |
Hey, it wasn't coming right for us. It was just sitting
there.
|
| Jimbo: |
Shhh, not so loud. Now that there's just a
technicality.
|
| Kyle: |
What do yo mean?
|
| Jimbo: |
You see boys, the Democrats have passed a lot of laws
trying to stop us from hunting.
|
| Cartman: |
Democrats piss me off!
|
| Jimbo: |
They say we can't shoot certain
animals anymore, unless they're posing an immediate threat. Therefore,
before we shoot somethin', we have to say 'It's coming right for us.'
|
| Stan: |
Wow, you're smart Uncle Jimbo.
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, Jimbo look, mm.
|
| Jimbo: |
Ohho, it's a deer. Looks like about a .46 gauge, Ned.
It's
coming right for us!! [pulls out a bazooka, mounts it on his shoulder,
and fires a rocket. All that's left of the deer is a hind leg, which
falls over]
|
| Cartman: |
Kickass!! [everyone is in creep position now, except
Jimbo]
|
| Jimbo: |
Did you see that?! I was imperiled by that ferocious,
charging buck.
|
| Ned: |
Moohh, rabbit, rabbit, 5 o'clock. [a rabbit hops
blissfully into view]
|
| Jimbo: |
[drops to the ground] Let's move, moove! [hustles off
to the right. Ned follows]
|
| Stan: |
Is this hunting?
|
| Kyle: |
I guess so.
|
| Cartman: |
Ah, dude! I'm starting to have flashbacks.
|
| Kyle: |
What?!
|
| Cartman: |
Danforth, pull up flank! Look out for Charlies- up in
the trees!
|
|
[On the ridge]
|
| Jimbo: |
This one's yours Stan. [Stan aims at the bunny, but it
just blinks at him. Jimbo coaxes] It's coming right for us.
|
| Ned: |
It's coming right for us. [Stan focuses. The bunny
blinks]
|
| Kyle: |
Shoot it Stan.
|
| Cartman: |
I got your back, soldier.
|
| Stan: |
[lowers his gun] I can't. [the bunny hops away]
|
| Jimbo: |
What the? What's wrong with you?
|
| Stan: |
I don't want to shoot the bunny.
|
| Jimbo: |
What the hell are you talking about,
you don't want to shoot the bunny? You're babbling, you're not making
any sense, you're hysterical.
|
| Stan: |
I'm not hysterical, I just don't want to shoot the
bunny.
|
| Jimbo: |
No nephew of mine is gonna be a tree hugger.
|
| Cartman: |
Yeah hippie, go back to Woodstock if you can't shoot
anything.
|
| Stan: |
I can shoot you, fat ass!
|
| Cartman: |
I can shoot you too!
|
| Stan: |
I'll kill you!
|
| Cartman: |
I'll fill you full of lead!
|
| Kyle: |
[the mountain rumbles] Hey, what's that?
|
|
[Randy is humming:
another day and all is quiet. A rumble is heard in the distance, but
Randy is dozing off. A stronger rumble rolls through]
|
| Randy: |
[checks the seismograph] What the heck is this? [places
a call]
Yeah, Frank, it's uh Randy, Uh huh, good, good. Yeah, listen, the uh,
the little needle's moving. Yeah, it's going back and forth really
fast-what does that mean? … Uh huh … Uh huh
… Let me check [looks at the volcano, which shows a column
of steam] Yeah, it's smoking. Uh huh. Oh really? Really? Oh my God! A
volcano!
|
|
[Dramatic music builds, then Randy … sips
coffee]
|
|
[Night on the mountain]
|
| Cartman: |
My weenies won't cook.
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, this wood won't burn, umm.
|
| Jimbo: |
Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use the old Indian
fire trick.
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, yepper. [pours gas on the fire. The flames run up
the stream and set Ned aflame] Mmm, aahh, oh.
|
| Jimbo: |
Hehehaahaa, hey, stop-drop-and roll Ned.
Haaahaaaaahaha!!
|
|
[Ned drops and rolls. He knocks the gas can over, and
the flaming gas blows up the Hummer]
|
| Stan, Kyle: |
Whoa!
|
| Jimbo: |
Goddamnit Ned, I just got that van. How the hell are we
supposed to get home?
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, oh, it hurts, it hurts, mmm.
|
| Cartman: |
[now cooking his weenies over Ned's burning body] Hey
you guys, this works pretty good right now.
|
|
[The following morning]
|
| Chef: |
But you see Mr. Mayor, you can't stop serving Salisbury
steak in our public schools. What's next, meatloaf?
|
| Mayor: |
We are quite aware of your concerns Chef,
but… [the intercom beeps. She answers]
|
| Johnson: |
Mayor, the geologist is here to see you.
|
| Mayor: |
My geologist? Now? Tell him the infection is fine and I
don't need another check-up.
|
| Johnson: |
No mayor, that's a gynecologist. A geologist studies
the earth.
|
| Mayor: |
Don't you think I know that? How dare you insult my
intellect, I went to Princeton for God's sake! You get out of my
office!
|
| Johnson: |
I'm not in your office mayor, I'm talking to you
through a speaker.
|
| Mayor: |
[long pause] Just send in the geometrist.
|
| Johnson: |
Geologist…
|
| Mayor: |
You are fired, buddy!
|
| Johnson: |
Thank you mayor, it's been great working for you.
|
| Randy: |
[entering] Mayor, we have got a very big problem. Mt.
Evanston is about to erupt.
|
| Mayor: |
What does this mean to the town?
|
| Randy: |
Well, this graph shows everything from normal to bad.
[he points out relative damage levels on a chart] Right now South Park
is here.
|
| Mayor: |
My God!
|
| Chef: |
Mayor, some of the school children, are up camping, on
that mountain, right now!
|
| Mayor: |
Ooh, this is big! Johnson, Johnson, are you there?
[Beeps out]
|
| Ted: |
Uhh, you just fired Johnson, Mayor. I'm his
replacement, Ted.
|
| Mayor: |
Ted, we have got a major crisis here.
I want you to get on the phone and call Inside Edition, Rescue 911-ugh,
and Entertainment Tonight-eh. [thump] Better get my stylist on the
phone too. Don't worry, things are under control.
|
|
[Back on the Mountain. Jimbo
is telling stories]
|
| Jimbo: |
You see… Ned picked up the grenade
and… BOOM, blasted his arm clear off. We spent three hours
looking for
that damn arm, but it was never to be found. Some say it's still
crawling around to this day.
|
| Ned: |
[extends his prosthetic arm towards Cartman as if to
show that shot-off arm is now at the campsite, climbing on Cartman]
Mmmowwwh. [Cartman flinches, and the others laugh]
|
| Jimbo: |
Hah, got ya.
|
| Cartman: |
Heh, that's not scary.
|
| Kyle: |
You were scared Cartman! you almost peed in your pants!
|
| Cartman: |
Shut up, I didn't pee in my pants!
|
| Jimbo: |
Hey Ned, hand me that gin. [Ned opens up the icebox and
tosses a bottle to him] You boys want to tie one on?
|
| Kyle: |
No, No thanks, that stuff tastes like pee.
|
| Stan: |
Yeah, Cartman's pee.
|
| Cartman: |
Hey, you would taste my pee!
|
| Jimbo: |
What the hell's wrong with you? Can't you have a little
alcohol? [Kenny reaches for the gas can and chugs away] Christ, look at
that little bastard go! [Kenny hiccups] Now you see that Stan? Now, now
that is a dirty little bastard!
|
| Stan: |
Hey, I'm a dirty little bastard too.
|
| Cartman: |
Hey you guys. I know a scary story.
|
| Kyle: |
Shut up, Cartman! You can't scare anybody!
|
| Cartman: |
[softly, slowly, flashlight ready] Oh yeah? Have you
guys ever heard of [flashlight on] Scuzzlebutt?
|
| Stan: |
Whatabutt?
|
| Cartman: |
Scuzzlebutt is a creature that lives up on this very
mountain, and kills anybody who dares climb to the top.
|
| Stan: |
Why?
|
| Cartman: |
Because, it loves the taste of blood, and likes to add
pieces to its deformed body.
|
| Kyle: |
Deformed how?
|
| Cartman: |
Well, on his left arm, instead of a hand, he
has…
|
| Stan: |
A hook.
|
| Kyle: |
A knife.
|
| Cartman: |
No! A piece of celery.
|
| Stan: |
Celery?
|
| Cartman: |
Yeah, and he walks with a limp.
Because one of his legs is missing. And where his leg should be,
there's nothing but…Patrick Duffy.
|
| Kyle: |
Patrick Duffy? Damn it Cartman, that's not scary!
|
| Cartman: |
What do you mean? Have you ever seen Step By Step?
[Silence]
So he lives alone on this mountain, and weaves baskets, and other
assorted crafts. They say that on quiet nights you can hear him weaving
his baskets. Tahink … tahink … tahink.
|
| Stan: |
Cartman, you suck at telling scary stories.
|
| Kyle: |
Yeah, give me that flashlight. [takes it and turns it
off]
|
| Kenny: |
[Volcano rumbles] (Hey, what's that?)
|
| Kyle: |
What is that?
|
| Stan: |
Maybe it's Scuzzlebutt coming to weave us into wicker
baskets.
|
| Cartman: |
Hey, it might be!
|
| Kyle: |
Gosh, I hope he doesn't cut me with his celery hand.
[the others laugh]
|
| Cartman: |
You guys! … Go to Hell!
|
| Jimbo: |
[now playing his guitar] Hey Ned, why don't you whip
out the ol' cancer kazoo? Let's do a little song.
|
| Ned: |
Abumbayah my lord, kumbayah.
Kumbayah my lord, kumbayah.
Uumbayah my lord, kumbayah. [Uncle Jimbo cries]
Moh lord, Kumbayah.
Emsomeone's crying my lord, Kumbayah
Someone's crying my lord, Kumbayah.…
|
| Cartman: |
They don't think Scuzzlebutt is scary huh? Let's see
how they like it when they actually see Scuzzlebutt! I'll scare the
hell out of them tomorrow!
|
| Ned: |
… Someone's crying my lord, Kumbayah.
Moh lord, Kumbayah.
|
|
[Next morning. A rooster crows]
|
| Kyle: |
Stan, Stan, wake up!
|
| Stan: |
What, dude?
|
| Kyle: |
I don't know where Cartman is. I think something took
him away.
|
| Stan: |
Where's my Uncle Jimbo and Ned?
|
| Kyle: |
They're out fishing with Kenny.
|
| Stan: |
With Kenny? But, but this is supposed to be my camping
trip. Why do they like Kenny so much? Doesn't he like me anymore?
|
| Kyle: |
Well Stan, you want to know what I think?
|
| Stan: |
What? [Kyle farts. Stan does nothing]
|
|
[In the fishing boat]
|
| Jimbo: |
What a beautiful morning for fishing. There's one,
there's a fish right there! [throws grenade, killing a fish.]
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, got it.
|
|
[Kenny throws grenade, killing four fish.]
|
| Jimbo: |
Great instincts boy.
|
| Stan: |
[runs to the side of the lake] Uncle Jimbo, Cartman's
missing!
|
| Jimbo: |
Who? The fat kid?
|
| Stan: |
Yeah.
|
| Jimbo: |
Ah hell, I guess we better go look for him. Ned, we got
to cut it short. Fire out the 12-20! [Ned fires the load and kills all
the fish in the lake. The boat lands a second later] Well, I think
that's about the limit for our fishing permit.
|
| Ned: |
[rowing to shore] Moh man it smells like dead fish
here.
|
| Kenny: |
(a little like a vagina)
|
| Ned: |
Em-moh man, that is nasty.
|
| Jimbo: |
Heh, I don't think I've ever seen a kid as cool as you
Kenny. I'm making you …my honorary nephew.
|
| Kenny: |
(Thanks.) [Stan's head drops]
|
|
[In front of city hall. The
media is now present]
|
| Newscaster: |
The people of South Park are
humble and friendly. But now, a ticking timebomb of hot lava waits to
engulf these people and end their miserable lives with one last
fleeting moment of excruciatingly painful burning agony.
|
| Crowd: |
Yeahhh. [they sound more excited than agonized]
|
| Individual in crowd: |
Hey, I'm on TV! I'm on TV!
|
| Newscaster: |
Mayor, what are you doing to prepare for this
inevitible catastrophe?
|
| Mayor: |
All we know right now is that some of our children
[sob-sob] are camping on that mountain and… Oh, I'm sorry,
can I start over?
|
| Newscaster: |
Huh?
|
| Mayor: |
You can edit this right? Ready, 3,2,1
(Melodramatically) All we know right now is that some of our children
are up camping on that mountain. We can't do anything until we get
them. Okay people, let's go get those kids.
|
| Chef: |
Come on everybody. You got to help the children.
|
|
[On the mountain]
|
| Jimbo: |
Uh, well, he couldn't have gone far, unless something
drug him off.
|
| Ned: |
There's not many animals out today, Jimbo, mmm.
|
| Jimbo: |
Yeah, it's almost like something funny's going on. [The
volcano rumbles.] Christ, Ned, what'd you have for breakfast.
|
| Ned: |
Mm I don't know man. I've got some bad gas.
|
| Jimbo: |
Wait, there's a ram! It's coming right for us! [Fires
at the ram. Kenny takes over] Nice shootin' Kenny. Here, you need a
bigger gun.
|
| Kyle: |
Look!
|
| Cartman: |
I am Scuzzlebutt, Lord of the Mountains. Behold my
Patrick Duffy leg.
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, what is it?
|
| Kyle: |
Dude, it's Scuzzlebutt! Cartman wasn't lying.
|
| Jimbo: |
Holy crow! We could make a mint killing this thing.
|
| Ned: |
We'll be on the cover of Guns & Ammo.
|
| Jimbo: |
This calls for some HJ-14.
|
| Cartman: |
Heheh. Those guys are totally scared.
|
| Jimbo: |
[armed with twin shoulder rockets] Fire in the hole!
|
| Cartman: |
Holy crap! [jumps out of the way. The rockets hit the
mound and debris goes in all directions]
|
| Jimbo: |
Damn it, I think I missed
|
| Cartman: |
What the hell is wrong with you people?!
|
| Jimbo: |
C'mon, let's move, move!
|
| Cartman: |
[sees them coming and backs away] Hey, wait, aah!
|
|
[Rescue Center]
|
| Mayor: |
Is, is it on? Okay. Okay people, form groups and search
the mountain. Report back here every hour! You got that?!
|
| Randy: |
Mayor, I might have an uh-idea.
|
| Mayor: |
Huh, what?
|
| Randy: |
If we can dig a very large trench, we
can divert the lava into a canyon, and then it would bypass South Park,
pretty much completely.
|
| Mayor: |
And, that would be good? Uhright?
|
| Randy: |
Uh - pretty sure.
|
| Mayor: |
Well, what are we waiting for. Okay, people, change of
plans! Half of you grab shovels!
|
|
[On the moutain. Jimbo and the
others have lost sight of Cartman]
|
| Jimbo: |
These look like its tracks. He must
have gone this way. Ned, prepare some HK-12 and some plastiscene. I'll
bet that sucker's headed for a higher elevation. The higher up it-
BIRD!! [shoots a bald eagle] The higher up it goes, the better it can
breathe.
|
| Kyle: |
[sees Cartman] Look, up there.
|
| Cartman: |
You guys, it's just me.
|
| Jimbo: |
Are we sure it's Scuzzlebutt?
|
| Stan: |
Does it have Patrick Duffy for a leg
|
| Jimbo: |
I can't tell; let's kill it!
|
| Cartman: |
Eh, I gotta get out of this stupid costume.
|
| Jimbo: |
Kenny, you take the front.
|
| Stan: |
No! [taking the rifle from Kenny] I can do it Uncle
Jimbo. I want to bag that animal!
|
| Jimbo: |
That's the spirit, kiddo. Let's hunt!
|
| Cartman: |
You guys, you guys, I was just kidding!
|
|
[Townspeople digging trench]
|
| Newscaster: |
As some people of South Park try
desperately to save their mountain town, others look for the missing
townspeople. But all must take every precaution necessary.
|
|
[Rescue Center]
|
| Officer Barbrady: |
Okay people, listen up. As
we near the top of the mountain, the chances of our encountering some
lava becomes great. Therefore, I have special-ordered this training
film to assist us in volcano safety. Mr. Garrison, if you would please.
[Mr. Garrison starts the film]
|
| Host: |
Harbringers of sorrow, natural disasters can be the
cause of troubling
and undesireable stress, and the volcano is no exception. But what
should you do if a volcano erupts near you or your family? Here we see
the Stevens family enjoying a May picnic, but suddenly daughter hears a
noise. It's a volcano. Junior seems worried. But have no fear Junior,
Jane learned in school what to do when you hear a volcano erupt. [Jane
backs up, pulls out the blanket from under the food, and throws it over
her family] That's right Jane, duck and cover. [She
ducks under the blanket herself. The lava rolls over the family,
causing no harm. The blanket flies off, revealing a sparkling family]
So what will you-do when you hear a volcano erupting? [Two boys on
bikes look alarmed. They leap off their bikes and hit the street, duck,
and cover their heads with their arms] That's right, duck and cover.
[The lava rolls over the two, causing no harm] Looks like you got the
idea.
Thank you and goodbye.
|
| Officer Barbrady: |
OK, any questions?
|
| Chef: |
That has got to be the most ridiculous load of pig crap
I have ever seen!
|
| Officer Barbrady: |
That's enough out of you!
|
|
[On the mountain. Cartman
moves further up on the slope and turns around]
|
| Stan: |
I'm gonna bag Scuzzlebutt. Then we'll see who's the
little bastard.
|
| Cartman: |
Hey, seriously you guys!
|
| Kyle: |
[hushed] Kill it, Stanley. Kill it. [normally] Come on
Stan, kill it.
|
| Stan: |
Ah, damn it, I can't do it!
|
| Jimbo: |
[swatting Stan behind the head] You pansy! give me that
gun.
|
| Cartman: |
Hey!
|
| Stan: |
Cartman?
|
| Cartman: |
God damn it, don't shoot me!
|
| Jimbo: |
What in Sam Hell?
|
| Cartman: |
I was just trying to scare you guys, you can put the
guns down now.
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, so much for the cover of Guns & Ammo.
|
| Jimbo: |
Yepper, but I think we've learned some important
lessons Ned I think that- [Boom! Lava begins to bubble out and flow]
|
| Kyle: |
Whoa!
|
| Ned: |
Mmm, holy crap.
|
| Jimbo: |
The mountain! It's blown it's top! [A boulder of lava
lands in front of Kenny]
|
| Kyle: |
Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
|
| Kenny: |
[steps out from behind the boulder] (Nope, I'm okay.)
[see his arm on fire] (It-aah. It hurts! IT HURTS!) [The boulder rolls
onto Kenny] (Ugh)
|
|
[On the side of the mountain]
|
| Townsman 1: |
Look, the volcano.
|
| Townsman 2: |
Quick, duck and cover. [They do. The lava sweeps them
down the mountainside, burnt to the bone]
|
|
[At the base of the mountain.
Jimbo and the others are moving quickly]
|
| Kyle, Stan, Cartman: |
Aaaaah!
|
| Jimbo: |
That lava's coming right for us!! [behind them a river
of lava charges dwon the mountain]
|
|
[Looking on from the edge of
town]
|
| Chef: |
Oh no, look.
|
|
[At the trench. Jimbo and the
others have made it out of the mountain, but their way into town has
been cut off]
|
| Jimbo: |
What the hell is this trench doing here?!? We can't get
across!
|
| Newscaster: |
It now looks as if the missing children are trapped in
the path of hot, nasty lava.
|
| Mayor: |
God, please deliver those darling kids from…
Wait, wait wait wait. 3,2, and 1. God, please deliv-
|
| Cartman: |
Help! [Scuzzlebutt enters and scratches his belly]
|
| Jimbo: |
Jimminy Hope, it's the real Scuzzlebutt!
|
| Cartman: |
What?! Scuzzlebutt's real?!
|
| Kyle: |
Oh my God! Look at his leg!
|
| Patrick Duffy: |
Hi kids, I'm TV's Patrick Duffy.
|
| Jimbo: |
Quick Ned, shoot it!
|
| Ned: |
[aims, but no shot is heard] Mmmoh no, out of ammo.
|
| Scuzzlebutt: |
Grrrr.
|
| Mayor: |
What… is that thing?
|
| Chef: |
That's Scuzzlebutt.
|
| Mr. Garrison: |
Yeah, he has Patrick Duffy for a leg, and weaves
baskets.
|
| Officer Barbrady: |
This isn't happening. Everyone look away please.
Nothing to see here.
|
| Jimbo: |
Well boys, I'm sorry I got you all killed. [Scuzzlebutt
rips a tree from the ground, bites off a limb…]
|
| Kyle: |
Aaaaah! […and molds the tree into a-]
|
| Stan: |
Whoa, he built a wicker basket
|
| Jimbo: |
Hey, he's saving us.
|
| Scuzzlebutt: |
[puts the group in the basket and lifts them over the
trench] Grrr.
|
| Mrs. Cartman: |
Scuzzlebutt saved the day.
|
| Randy: |
And my calculations worked: the lava is following the
trench into the canyon.
|
| Mayor: |
Hmmm. Wwhere exactly does the canyon go?
|
| Randy: |
Uhh…
|
| Denver citizens: |
Aaaaah.
|
|
[South Park. The ordeal is
over] |
| Mr. Garrison: |
South Park is saved. [Cheers go up] |
| Kyle: |
Hey look, Kenny's okay. |
| Kenny: |
[appearing on a mound nearby] (Hey guys, come here.) |
| Newscaster: |
And now these humble people can
rejoice and celebrate their jovial victory over nature. I'm getting
word that the chef of the school cafeteria wants to sing a song about
this thrilling struggle of humanity. |
| Chef: |
Mmmm
Baby, every time that we kiss
Hot Lava!
Every time that we make love, hot lava
Hot Lava!
Lava so hot it makes me sweat
Lava so warm and red and wet
Lava!
Brrrrrrrrrrrr. |
| Newscaster: |
Mayor, what do you have to say about this wonderful
outcome? |
| Mayor: |
Well, we owe everything to this friendly, yet
misunderstood creature. Thank you Scuzzlebutt. |
| Scuzzlebutt: |
Friend. [presents flowers to the Mayor] |
| Mayor: |
Oh, how sweet. |
| Stan: |
[felling Scuzzlebutt] I did it, I did it, I finally
killed something. [smiles, proud of himself. Unfortunately, this took
place during a live report] |
| Newscaster: |
Oh my God! What has he done? |
| Mayor: |
Turn off the cameras! |
| Stan: |
Hey, that was easy! |
| Patrick Duffy: |
Noooo! Why God? Why? |
| Jimbo: |
Damn it Stan, you shouldn't have done that! |
| Stan: |
What?! Why?! |
| Kyle: |
Yeah, make up your mind, dude! |
| Jimbo: |
Stan, some things you kill, and some things you don't.
See? |
| Stan: |
No. |
| Ned: |
Moh, only now in this late hour do I see the folly of
guns. Mmm, I'll never use a gun again, mmm. [Drops his gun, which fires
one last shot as it hits the snow. Kenny is hit] |
| Kenny: |
(Oh, no!) [Rats are hot on the trail] |
| Stan: |
But I just wanted you to be proud of me, like you were
with Kenny. |
| Jimbo: |
But Kenny's dead now, Stan, and you're always going to
be my nephew. And you can't just kill anything. You understand? |
| Kyle: |
Dude, I don't understand hunting at all. |
| Stan: |
Yeah, [drops his gun] it's stupid. Let's go watch
cartoons. |
| Cartman: |
Yeah, cartoons kick ass! [all three leave] |
|
[End of Volcano] |
