HA! If you need money, you can get a JOB, Stan! No freeloadeers are gonna take my hard-earned cash!

27 KB

Eight hundred and sixteen people can come into the park today!

88 KB

Woooo, Adventure Island! Check it out! Awesome!

19 KB

Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama and... and you give Cartman a million dollars?

25 KB

Hello, Kyle. How's the hemorrhoid today?

13 KB

It's like an infected blood vessel on your ass. I'm nine years old, and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan. I have a hemorrhoid, and, Cartman has his own theme park.

162 KB

Well your rides are gonna break down every now and then. You need to hire a maintenance person.

42 KB

You just build me up to chop me down, didn't you?! What about my dream?! What about my money?!

47 KB

This can't be happening! AAAAAHH!!

15 KB

Well, look: Why don't you just let a couple of people in each day? Every day you can just let two people in, charge $29.95 per ticket, and then you can use that to pay my daily salary.

92 KB

Eric is the primary benefactor of my estate, since it is likely the rest of you would spend the money on crack.

30 KB

Stahan, I have to go home!! I need my cream!! I need my creeheam!!

51 KB

On my dream. On the one thing that I've wanted ever since I could remember...

50 KB

All the wet spit-filled kisses I put up with?! The constant smell of aspirin and pee?! Don't tell me I didn't earn it, you son of a bitch!

49 KB

BUT, you are to try your best not to ride any rides that I am on! Understood?

98 KB

Five cents is your change and enjoy your stay at Cartmanland.

30 KB

If there's one thing I hate, all the lines, lines, lines, LINES!!

175 KB

Cartman screams.

44 KB

To my grandson Eric: You are always my favorite fat little man, my perfect round little pudding-piler.

33 KB

Uh well, we paid twenty-nine ninety five; we should be able to go in the spook house.

70 KB

Kyle? Kyle? Get the doctor!

24 KB

"I don't care," said Pierre. "I'm from France."

10 KB

We're getting into that fatass's park whether he likes it or not!

20 KB

Huh, I think God has plenty of money.

20 KB

That's right, because at Cartmanland, only I, Eric Cartman, can get in! That means only I can ride the all-new Tornado Twister

153 KB

Cartman rides through the haunted house.

29 KB

Dude, just forget about it. We can't let him get to us, or he wins.

23 KB

Then I was right. Job has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God.

69 KB

I really need to go to the bathroom, but if I do, it will pop again and the pain will make me pass out.

53 KB

We're waitin' in line for the-ah spook house.

66 KB

In a minute, sweetie. This is important.

15 KB

My own amusement park, Mother. I'm sure.

28 KB

Excuse me son, I'm an investment broker; I can help you invest that money.

18 KB

You still owe thirteen thousand dollars more than this, Mr. Cartman. We'll see you in court.

83 KB

Cartman is the biggest asshole in the world! How is it that God gives him a million dollars?

39 KB

Gentlemen, I thank you.

34 KB

"It's too late for that, Ms. Lopez."

65 KB

Look, I haven't been honest with you. The park hasn't been doing great business.

110 KB

You'd better not be lying, Kenny.

62 KB

Good riddance, you stupid park! You can all kiss my ass!

21 KB

It is stupid, Cartman! You made Kyle lose his faith in God, you fat asshole!

67 KB

For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one million dollars, to be transferred to you immediately.

34 KB

"You know, I learned something today..." and what does this so-called God give me in return? A hemorrhoid. He doesn't make sense!

88 KB

He's not fighting the infected hemorrhoid at all. It's like he... like he's lost all hope.

57 KB

It's not fair! It's not fair; I wanna die! I wanna daaahahie!

56 KB

Normally, the body would fight the infection, but he's... he's just... given up on life.

63 KB

You're a very lucky little boy. I've never seen a hemorrhoid so infected. It could have killed you.

33 KB

Your son appears to be losing the battle. I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs.

45 KB

We know how well your park is doing; you'll make it back in no time.

70 KB

Dude, are you from Mars or something? Any ride you want. No lines.

41 KB

Folks, please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, make sure your seatbelts are fastened, and enjoy the Mine Shaft!

50 KB

My God, look at it, Chris! That kid completely turned this place around!

52 KB

Amazing. Eric Cartman is surely the financial genius of our time.

204 KB

Nonowait, you don't understand: since I was th-three years old it has been my dream to have one million dollars

67 KB

To my loving son, Stinky: I leave you the house in Nebraska. Look after it as your father and I did.

26 KB

No, sweetie, we have to tend to some of Grandma's business.

29 KB

Oh, look how much fun I had!

18 KB

Damn, Ned, I've never seen that much cash.

56 KB

I just gotta cover my security expenses. Butters, Clyde, you can come in.

57 KB

GODDAMNIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!

18 KB

And now we release the doves to symbolize the Lord taking Mabel into his arms and giving her everlasting peace.

53 KB

Hoh Gohod, I popped it!! Oh hit huhurts!!

39 KB

If you see anybody on my propertih, especially Stan and Kyle, you are to shoot on sight!

36 KB

Wait a minute. Yes! The hemorrhoid is going into remission!

47 KB

Do you hear me?! I renounce my faith!!

74 KB

Now I can get back to riding my rides.

14 KB

Mom, it's 3:30! This is taking up my whole Saturday!

80 KB

It's my seat ring. I have to sit on it because of my hemorrhoid.

39 KB

Well, all alright, Goddamnit! I'll open the park to two people each day! But remember: anybody else you see trespassing the park...

32 KB

I mean, who could really have fun by themselves at a theme park? I'll bet he's sick of it already.

48 KB

Oh, I think you'll see differently after hearing this. Sit down, Kyle.

42 KB

I'm so happy! I'm so happy!

45 KB

I'M SO PISSED OFF!

48 KB

Uh oh! Oh man, I'm so scared!

37 KB

Look at it. Look at it, mother. See how the light reflects the spearmint green from its surface.

21 KB

That one part, with the-uum, with the spider that dropped on ya? Oho, man, that totally got me. That was sweet! Heheh.

54 KB

Would you mind stepping aside? I have a purchase to make.

10 KB

...And so I leave my stocks and bonds, worth an estimated fourteen dollars and twelve cents, to be divided amongst my loving family.

31 KB

Then God sent his fireballs from the sky and killed his sheep and the rest of his employees.

346 KB

God! She didn't take this long to die!

34 KB

That can't be!

6 KB

You see, if someone like Cartman can get a million dollars and his own theme park, then there is no God. There's no God, dude.

80 KB

Timmy!

9 KB

You call this great?! I call it Hell! Trade me back, Goddamnit!

36 KB

But, in return for you working security, I'll let you ride two rides a day. But only two rides, and only if I'm not on them.

56 KB

It's not fair! It's not fair; I wanna die! I wanna daaahahie!

26 KB

Not much, just taking my one million dollars out of the bank.

32 KB

You can't keep us out forever, you fucking fastass! We'll be back as soon as Kyle's hemorrhoid is better!

36 KB

Doctor, can we wheel Kyle out of here on his bed with the machines attached?

31 KB

Ogh, finally, work is over. Now I can get back to riding my rides.

23 KB

Yyeessss! Yyeessss! Awesome! Ho ho! Sweet!

46 KB