Destroy all towels within a thousand mile radius.

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I know, I know. Well, look: I'll stay over anyway so I can play for... eighteen hours, and then I'll go to the lake.

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It's Saturday at 2:30 - that means we have... 39 hours to play GameSphere until school on Monday!

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I'm the one who found Stan's aborted brother in the trashcan and blackmailed his mom into getting the GameSphere.

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Well, I'm gonna get a little high.

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Come on, Towelie! How long has it been since you've had a nice burn, huh?! Twenty, thirty seconds?!

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Well I'm through playing hide and seek! We've got no other choice! Prepare to blow up all of Colorado!

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Alright, that does it! Brake angrily, Kenny!

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When you're playin' sports, the sweat can get in your face. That's why Towelie says, "Always keep an extra towel in your duffle bag."

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No no, it's okay, Mom. We c-we can't go to baseball practice 'cause Kyle has cancer.

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Say, boys, this may sound a little ...odd, but... have you see a ...talking ...towel around anywhere.

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You boys can take the towel to Tynacorp's central core, and upload this encryption disk into their system, bringing them down once and for all.

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Alright, maybe we lied to you, but it was to protect your own skin! We are a resistance group pretending to be the military to bring Tynacorp down!

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Oh, dude! Did you see that? I cut off your face and ate it!

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Yeahyeah, Mom. I-I can't go to the lake. No, S-stan's having emotional problems and I need to help see him through it. He's got- wha-what is it? Date-rape psychosis.

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We're not doing it for the world, we're doing it for our video game. God, are you deaf?

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I can't remember, it all looks the same. Hold on, let me get high.

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You see, this is not an ordinary towel. He is the RG-400 Smart Towel, designed with a computer chip inside the terry cloth

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A towel that would sense how wet or dry the user's skin was and fluff itself accordingly.

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Smart enough to beat the average human at chess and absorbent enough to soak up even the toughest spills. But then one day, Towelie got high and just sort of wandered off.

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Their plan was to wipe us all out with one fell swoop.

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They wanted to turn Towelie into a weapon of mass destruction.

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Just get the towel and meet us at the gas station outside of town. Or else!

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You've been double-crossed by Tynacorp, kids. They set this all up to get you in here and take us down.

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Dude, it's got a hundred twenty eight gigahertz DRAM

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We can still play for six more hours, and then we'll go play baseball.

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Perhaps they're telepathically linked to the towel, sir, like E.T.

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Get away from me, you evil towel!

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Yeah. That's the melody to "Funky Town." Won't ya take me down... to Funky Town.

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Genetic copies we tried to make with your TNA. They didn't work too well, I'm afraid.

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What? Oh yeah, back at the base. It's a long ways away.

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Alright, boys, take the towel back in there and say your mission was accomplished.

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Let a man take a crap!

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Are we gonna get high?

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The entry code should still be in Towelie's memory banks. You could sneak him in there and recover his TNA. Great plan.

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It isn't safe for you out here, towel. There are people out here to mean to harm you.

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Yeah, but you still shouldn'ta done that. 'E's just a boih.

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Come, Towelie! Make your decision!

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Oh, man, I have no idea what's goin' on.

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Because I thought it was a jelly doughnut, but look, check it out, it's all bloody.

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Kenny falls into a tank of acid.

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Oh my God! No-o-o-o!

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That's my last joint, asshole!

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This is gonna be one long-ass day.

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Yeah. Hay Mom, Cartman found a bloody cotton thing in the bathroom.

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Sir yes sir! All towels have been destroyed! The Smart Towel is no doubt eliminated.

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Come on, hurry. I bet we can get to level 29!

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We're never gonna play our Okama GameSphere again, are we?

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I'm so high right now. I have no idea what's goin' on.

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If anything goes wrong, use this newly-developed photon rifle.

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Agh! Look, dude, we're on level 24, about to cross into the Caverns of Madness!

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But then, one day, Towelie got high and just sort of wandered off. Again.

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This came out of you?? You just left it in the trashcan?!

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Then we have no choice. We'll have to test the new prototype a little... earlier.

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Dude, he's in there punishing my toilet.

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We're missing out on some quality video game time right now.

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Oh yes, boys. Obey your government! Well perhaps it's time these boys knew what was really going on!

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We shouldn't have this many responsibilities! We're children!

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That Tynacorp was making these towels to take over the world!

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I'm almost done, you smartasses! I'm just wipin' mah- whoa, what the hell is that?

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What did they tell you at Tynacorp? That the big, bad government wanted to genetically engineer a Towelie as a weapon?

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So that'd be, like what, eight hours we could play before school?

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Yes! Go away, you stupid towel!

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Uh-uh-uh what do you mean "they've taken it"? Oh, this isn't happening! This isn't happening!!

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Oh yeah, Thirst for Blood. Bring it.

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Well guys, let's go to the swimming pool! Aaah. Let's go take a shower! Let's go waterskiing!

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Kevin? Don't forget to wrap the potato salad in aluminum foil. Kevin, is that you?

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The second marine towel attack.

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Oh alright, have your way with me if you must! Go on, fulfill you sick pleasures!

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That's a towel call?

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Towelie merchandise commercial.

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I've been wanderin' around on my own for the past few weeks. You know, helpin' people out with towel safety and proper towel use. It's important.

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Agh. Come on, they've gotta have our video game around here somwhere.

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Wow, this is like finding trashcan gold, you guys!

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Kyle, I think you underestimate Okama GameSphere.

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Do you wanna get high?

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Can you imagine it? What it would feel like to be way, way too dry? I'll tell you something: You don't want to know.

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They aren't your friends! Humans have ruined the planet, killed off their own environment! Their time is over. It is the towels' turn now.

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Boys, that's a... feminine thing. Alright, it's a personal, woman thing.

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What has this world come to? Where people can just... take your Okama GameSphere.

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You are the worst character ever, Towelie.

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I can preach to you all I want, 'cause you're stupid!

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