So Stan and Kyle and I will be spending the next few days going out with each one of you and narrowing our choices down. Until we think we've found the perfect friend. Are there any questions?

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...What if we don't want to be your friend?

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Please, fellas, uh don't fire me.

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The time for fun and games is over, feeble-minded fools!

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Well sure you do. Ah I am professor, and you shall be my general. From now on you are General... Disarray.

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I am Professor Chaos, and now, this puny world uhwill bow down to me!

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Well, the, the reason I think I would make the perfect foreh- friend, is that I love telling jokes. You know, who doesn't like to laugh?

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Well, in the, in the months since our friend Kenny died, you've really stepped up as a friend and "filled the gap."

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All right, everyone. It was a tough decision, but based on our time with you all at the amusement park, we have whittled our choices down to ten.

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Man, I really hope I win, because... wait... why is this again? I have no idea what's goin' on.

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Towelie attempts to play "Stairway to Heaven"

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Butters, you just don't really fit in with us here. We think it's best for all of us if you for friendship opportunites elsewhere.

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Wow, what a terrific audience. So anyway, a guy walks into a buh- ...A guy walks into a b- ...buh...

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Where I go, destruction will follow!

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