Don't need the ticket stub?? Are you high?? How else do I know you're the winners?

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Right. Your idea of heaven is getting five dollars off your matzah ball soup at Barney's Beanery by lying about a hair in it.

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Sir, you must understand our fears. We must take out those facilities. We must... bomb heaven!

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I don't know. It's like my brain just keeps... jacking off.

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When Saddam became jealous and tried to kill Satan's new lover, Chris, Satan had Saddam sent to heaven to live with Mormons as a punishment.

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Look, God, if I was gonna secretly build a chemical weapons plant, I wouldn't make it look like a chemical weapons plant, would I? I'd make it look like a chocolate chip factory or something.

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If... heaven is an eight-year-old boy, and the ladder is my penis...

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You bet your fat clown ass it is!

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Are you high, or just incredibly stupid?

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I can't live like this. I, I have to find a place where they remove living souls from your body.

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I found this car seat in Mr. Garrison's car.

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...I've never heard the words "only" and "candy" in the same sentence before.

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Heaven could be like the pixie faeries of Bubble Yum Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them.

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Alright, alright, I drank the chocolate milk mix and replaced it with kitty litter.

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A frame of mind or, or something gay like that. Maybe heaven... is this moment, right now.

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Egh, because they're poor, Kyle! Poor people don't have anything better to do than piss other people off! Don't you watch Springer?!

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I said, Shut up, Cartman, you blood-belching vagina!

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No. That's an urn, boys. Kenny's inside it.

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A ladder to heaven? That's fuckin' stupid.

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Uh, look. We just really miss our friend and, ah, andand we need to see his remains for closure.

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What the hell is this?! Chocolate milk mix?!

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YOU GUYS!!

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