Guys, we here at Faith Records were very moved by your performance at Christfest. You're one of the most talented Christian rock bands we've ever heard!

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Don't ever leave me, Jesus. I couldn't stand to see you go. My heart would simply snap, my Lord, if you walked on out that door.

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OH, FUCK JESUS!!

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Fuck you, Eric.

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Gentlemen, we are about to embark on the most amazing, life-affirming, financially-windfalling experiences of our young lives.

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And I just want to feel you deep inside me, Jesus.

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You know, Jesus? I've been thinking a lot about you lately and, well, that's why I wrote this song...

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Pops, I've got the music inside me. It's in my soul. And I know my place is up on that stage. I'm gonna make it to the top. And I just want your blessing, Pops.

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Nono, in Christian rock, our albums go gold and frankincense and myrrh. Congratulations!

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Think about it! It's the easiest crappiest music in the world, right? If we just play songs about how much we love Jesus, all the Christians will buy our crap!

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You downloaded a lot of songs! Says here you even downlaoded Judas Priest? That's hard time you boys are lookin' at.

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The Body of Christ! Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned!

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The Shepherd and the Light, and His Word lifted me up And I praise His Holy Name wherever I go.

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Your family's black, Token! There's bound to be a bass guitar in your basement somewhere!

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