Within the hour, the temperature outside will fall to over 70 million degrees below zero!

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...shocking new evidence has indicated that the flood in Beaverton was caused by... global warming!

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Everyone into the community center! Hurry! Go!

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Global warming didn't cause the Beaverton flood. We know now whose fault it is. It was... Crab people!

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Yeah! You drive that damn SUV around! You didn't even think about global warming, DIDJA?!

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My colleagues in the scientific community are still running tests, but... we believe it may happen... the day after tomorrow.

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It now appears that... all rumors of global warming were true. We were warned this would happen and ...we didn't listen!

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With all due respect, cliché dissenting Republican, the economy isn't going to matter... the day after tomorrow.

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Yeah! George Bush doesn't care about beavers!

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Feeling warmth is a symptom of the last stages of hypothermia!

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Boats don't have parking brakes, dumbass! They only have the... oh wait wait. Neutral button!

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But... we need supplies, food, silicone.

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Already we're reporting that the death toll here in Chicago is over 600 billion people

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All Jews carry gold in a little bag around their necks! Hand it over!

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Do you think I'm stupid?! I know that all Jews carry fake bags of gold around their necks to keep the real bags of gold around their necks safe!

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...New York will have tidal waves that envelop all of the northeast. What, Frank?! Aw awww, Goddamnit!

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...we believe that the death toll may be in the hundreds of millions. Beaverton has only a population of about eight thousand, Tom, so this would be quite devastating.

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Oh God, I hope I didn't hurt any beavers.

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It's coming! Here comes global warming!

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I broke the dam. I ran a boat into the dam and I broke it.

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No! I broke the fucking dam!

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The boat caught on fire, and it exploded! Ohhh, fuck it!

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...and now you're all blaming crab people for something that's very simple! It's MY fault. I broke the dam.

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If you're so caring, Kyle, why don't you share some of your Jew gold with the people caught in the flood?!

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No, no, we haven't actually seen it Tom, we're just reporting it.

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I know you think he's your best friend, but Kyle is a Jew rat! He has his Jew ethics while he hoards his greedy Jew gold...

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I'm in pretty bad shape. My... leg is broken and my... left boob is leaking.

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I'm afraid us adults just let you children down. We didn't take care of our earth, and now you've inherited our problems.

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Oh great! You see, Stan?! This is what you get for listening to Kyle!

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With an eye on America and all of today's events, it's South Park Evening News, with Tom Pusslicker

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Yeah. Isn't this fun? Just you and me hangin' out, Stan. No stupid Kyle around.

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Oh wow, thank you so much! What a swift and speedy rescue!

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Oh Goddamnit you told Kyle, didn't you?!

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Global Warming is going to strike... two days before the day after tomorrow.

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Pretty funny?! Dude, we did that!! That was our fault!

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Very large beaver dam, Stan!!

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We can't spend all our energy placing blame when something bad happens. He's saying... we all broke the dam.

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Global warming must be over! We made it!

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We're not moving.

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Don't blame the mayor, Sharon. What about FEMA? Think this whole thing is really their fault.

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That's not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is.

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You just stay put, son! I'm coming for you! Do you hear me?? I'm coming for you!!

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