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Episode Scripts

South Park Scripts

Episode scripts in from every episode of South Park, listed in episode number order.

Pre-Tv Episode Scripts

Episode 000	The Spirit of Christmas / Jesus Vs. Frosty
Episode 001	The Spirit of Christmas / Jesus Vs. Santa

Episode 101	Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
Episode 102	Weight Gain 4000
Episode 103	Volcano
Episode 104	Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
Episode 105	An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Episode 106	Death
Episode 107	Pink Eye
Episode 108	Damien
Episode 109	Starvin' Marvin
Episode 110	Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
Episode 111	Tom's Rhinoplasty
Episode 112	Mecha-Streisand
Episode 113	Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut (1)

Episode 201	Terrance & Phillip in "Not Without My Anus"
Episode 202	Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut (2)
Episode 203	Chickenlover
Episode 204	Ike's Wee Wee
Episode 205	Conjoined Fetus Lady
Episode 206	The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
Episode 207	City on the Edge of Forever (a.k.a. Flashbacks)
Episode 208	Summer Sucks
Episode 209	Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls
Episode 210	Chickenpox
Episode 211	Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods
Episode 212	Clubhouses
Episode 213	Cow Days
Episode 214	Chef Aid
Episode 215	Spooky Fish
Episode 216	Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!
Episode 217	Gnomes
Episode 218	Prehistoric Ice Man

Episode 301	Rainforest Schmainforest
Episode 302	Spontaneous Combustion
Episode 303	The Succubus (a.k.a. Chef's Mama)
Episode 304	Tweek vs. Craig
Episode 305	Jakovasaurs
Episode 306	Sexual Harassment Panda
Episode 307	Cat Orgy (1)
Episode 308	Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (2) (a.k.a. Melvins)
Episode 309	Jewbilee (3)
Episode 310	Chinpokomon
Episode 311	Starvin' Marvin in Space!
Episode 312	Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery
Episode 313	Hooked on Monkey Fonics
Episode 314	The Red Badge of Gayness (a.k.a. War)
Episode 315	Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
Episode 316	Are You There God, It's Me Jesus
Episode 317	Worldwide Recorder Concert

Episode 401	Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000
Episode 402	The Tooth Fairy's TATS 2000
Episode 403	Quintuplets 2000
Episode 404	Timmy! 2000
Episode 405	Great Expectations (a.k.a. Pip)
Episode 406	Cartman Joins NAMBLA
Episode 407	Cherokee Hair Tampons
Episode 408	Chef Goes Nanners
Episode 409	Something You Can Do With Your Finger (a.k.a. Fingerbang)
Episode 410	Do the Handicapped Go to Hell? (1)
Episode 411	Probably (2)
Episode 412	4th Grade
Episode 413	Trapper Keeper
Episode 414	Thanksgiving Special
Episode 415	Fat Camp
Episode 416	The Wacky Molestation Adventure
Episode 417	A Very Crappy Christmas

Episode 501	Scott Tenorman Must Die
Episode 502	It Hits The Fan
Episode 503	Cripple Fight
Episode 504	Super Best Friends
Episode 505	Terrance & Philip: Behind the Blow
Episode 506	Cartmanland
Episode 507	Proper Condom Use
Episode 508	Towelie
Episode 509	Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants
Episode 510	How To Eat With Your Butt
Episode 511	The Entity
Episode 512	Here Comes the Neighbourhood
Episode 513	Kenny Dies
Episode 514	Butters' Very Own Episode

Episode 601	Freak Strike
Episode 602	Jared Has Aides
Episode 603	Asspen
Episode 604	The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer
Episode 605	Fun With Veal
Episode 606	Professor Chaos
Episode 607	The Simpsons Already Did It
Episode 608	Red-Hot Catholic Love
Episode 609	Free Hat
Episode 610	Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
Episode 611	Child Abduction is Not Funny
Episode 612	A Ladder to Heaven
Episode 613	The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
Episode 614	The Death Camp of Tolerance
Episode 615	The Biggest Douche in the Universe
Episode 616	My Future Self N' Me
Episode 617	Red Sleigh Down

Episode 801	Good Times with Weapons
Episode 802	AWESOM-O
Episode 803	Up the Down Steroid
Episode 804	The Passion of the Jew
Episode 805	You Got F'd In The A
Episode 806	Goobacks
Episode 807	The Jeffersons
Episode 808	Douche and Turd
Episode 809	Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes
Episode 810	Preschool
Episode 811	Quest for Ratings
Episode 812	Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset
Episode 813	Cartman's Incredible Gift
Episode 814	Woodland Critter Christmas

Episode 901	Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
Episode 902	Die Hippie, Die
Episode 903	Wing
Episode 904	Best Friends Forever
Episode 905	The Losing Edge
Episode 906	The Death of Eric Cartman
Episode 907	Erection Day
Episode 908	Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow
Episode 909	Marjorine
Episode 910	Follow that Egg
Episode 911	Ginger Kids
Episode 912	Trapped in the Closet
Episode 913	Free Willzyx
Episode 914	Bloody Mary